Breakfast
by Redundant Goddess
Summary: In which two Turks dicuss breakfast, and someone tries to disrupt them. Rated M for language. One Shot drabble for Enide-Dear.


Disclaimer: Rose are Red, Violets are blue. I work a crappy part-time job, so please don't sue! All characters owned by the Enix Massive, plus certain bits of a certain Tarantino film belong too... well I guess him and Miramax. I think. Any hoo, point is I own jack and ain't making penny one from this. Although if some would like to hire me to write episodes of Holby City, I wouldn't complain.

A/N: For Enide-dear. Because she's worth it! [Insert hair swish here]

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**Breakfast**

Reno wasn't sure who had said it, but the saying certainly rang true. Well, at least to him and his partner anyhow. Breakfast was truly the most important meal of the day, because in truth, it was about the only time in their day a decent meal could be assured. Everybody, even the president knew that, hence why for at least one hour of everyday both Turks were allowed the simple luxury of an uninterrupted breakfast.

It was a usual morning for the two, sat in their booth of their favourite diner, sipping coffee and freshly squeezed OJ respectively, waiting patiently for the meals to arrive. When Joanie -their usual waitress- toddled over with the goods a few minutes later, Reno was given a simple bowl of pink melon, grapes and small jug of fresh yoghurt. Rude, on the other hand, was given a plate that somewhat resembled the great Northern Greater. Hash browns, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and fried tomatoes all piled together in one great mound of food. It was impressive to say the least.

Still, as soon as the waitress left the two began to slowly tuck in and enjoy their meal.

"You know it always surprises me the way you can put that shit away, yo." Reno commented as he poured a healthy dollop of yoghurt over his melons.

Rude raised one eyebrow mid chew. The redhead happily elaborated.

"Seriously, I think if El' could see you now, she'd be shocked. It's like every morning you inhale a whole fuckin' farmyard."

Rude swallowed and politely wiped his mouth with a napkin before replying.

"Not true." He said. "There's nothing here that contains beef."

Reno rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Pfft, chyeah! Only because they ain't no damn room on the plate man."

His partner frowned, as he placed another mouthful of his mountainous meal into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Why does it bother you?" He asked.

"It doesn't." Reno shrugged and skewered a single grape with his fork. "It's just, you know, considering how many times people comment on my bad eating habits, you'd think you of all people would, you know, eat a more healthy breakfast."

"You think my breakfast is unhealthy?"

A small silence followed between the men, with Rude looking intently at the redhead, whilst Reno did his best to ignore the other and sipped at his juice.

Over by a nearby booth, a man called the waitress over.

_"Garson!"_

_"Garson means 'man'..."_

Reno swallowed and gave a chuckle.

"Well, it's just, this is like the only time we get to eat properly, yo."

"You're saying my breakfast is not considered proper food?" The older man accused.

Reno sighed, and not for the first time wished he had kept his mouth shut. But hell, he was in this deep, why not dig a little deeper?

"Look, all I'm saying is that we eat shit most of the time, because we ain't got time. But don't you think it'd be nice to just, you know, eat something with a few vitamins in it for breakfast once in a while? I mean, come on, yo. Having a heart attack for breakfast everyday ain't exactly good for you ya know."

Another silence ensued. Both men, glaring at each other in a way that made the air around them tight, and crackle with tension.

It was then the man by the nearby booth jumped up onto his table, pulled two guns from the back of his pants and started screaming.

"Everybody hands up, this is a hold up! Get down on the ground or I'll execute every mother fucker in this room!"

Almost everybody in the diner hit the deck instantaneously. Well, almost everybody.

Rude and Reno were still sat in place, glaring at each other.

"Just because you chose to eat fruit and fermented goat's milk for breakfast, does not make you the authority on healthy eating." Rude glowered, and then sniffed. "Besides, tomatoes have vitamins..."

Reno laughed.

"You fuckin' serious man, how the hell can you call those two small lumps of what used to be tomatoes 'Vitamins'. " He cried and used finger quotes to emphasise his point.

Rude just glared some more, whilst the man trying his best to rob the diner tried to grab their attention.

"Hey! Hey you there! Did you not hear me, get down on the ground or I'll blow your god's damned brains out!" He yelled.

However, the Turks just ignored him.

"Why the hell do you care any way? It's my body, and you've never complained before."

The redhead threw his arms in their air dramatically.

The would-be-robber snarled irritably. "Seriously, I fuckin' mean it man, if you do not get your asses down on the ground I will come over there and seriously fuck your shit up!"

"Well, excuse me princess for taking an active interest in the well being of my partner, yo!"

The robber, jittery as fuck, shook his head and turned his guns onto the bickering men, before stomping towards them. He aimed the pistols right at the heads.

_"Will you guys just shut the fuck up?"_

Rude sat back and crossed his arms and Reno growled loudly.

"Fine!" He snapped. "Be like that, but don't come crying to me when you're laid up in hospital after having a coronary!"

By this point the robber's patients had worn thin.

"Right!" He screeched, pistols shaking in his grip. "That's it! I warned, you! I Fuckin' warned you! You just had to go an keep on a yammering away, so now I'm gonna-"

Suddenly, two bullets were fired simultaneously from two standard issue ShinRa glocks, into the would-be robber's head and out the other side. The man's bloody slumped somewhat comically to the floor, as the gun's finished smoking.

Reno and Rude's gaze were still fixed on each other, until the redhead decided to take another bite of his breakfast.

"Awww, fuck man! There's all blood and brain in my bowl. Fuckin' shit is totally ruined!" He cried.

The Turk sat opposite him simply smirked.

"Not so healthy now is it?"

Before Reno had time too fully reply to his partner's witticism a shrill scream from the diner alerted them to their current predicament.

"I think we better leave." Rude commented dryly before holstering his gun, as Reno nodded in agreement and did the same.

So with their quiet, peaceful breakfast ruined, quickly and quietly, they both vacated the diner. But, not before leaving money for their bill and a fairly large tip on the counter.

And as the door slid shut, Rude turned to his partner and said:

"You know this shit ain't over right?"

"Whatever, yo!"

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Good, Bad, Matt Damon?

R+R, because it's good to talk! ;)


End file.
